Received Reviewed Regrettably Real
HTNYC · INTAKE FORM 003

Hat Trick Legal Department

Brooklyn field office · File cabinet B

ROUTING SLIP TO: Counsel RE: Strongly worded mail
OPEN CASES003
PUBLIC RECORDS ROUTING NOTE

Names and identifying details have been partially redacted. The hats, unfortunately for counsel, photographed beautifully.

CASE FILEHT–LEGAL–001RETIRED
Black-and-white aerospace parody hat with its embroidery redactedEXHIBIT A
ITEMTHE AEROSPACE INCIDENTPHOTOGRAPHED BEFORE RETIREMENT
PACIFIC NORTHWEST AIRSPACE DIVISION10.01.25

TO: HAT TRICK NYC
RE: B█████ / S██████S MARKS

NOTICE OF
UNAUTHORIZED FLIGHT PLAN

Our office has been advised that a royal-blue mesh cap combines the insignia of a certain aerospace manufacturer with the name of a professional football club located somewhere near Puget Sound.

The relevant parties—B█████ and the S██████S—deny authorizing this departure and request that all remaining units be grounded immediately.

ALLEGEDLY INFRINGING CONTENT:
ONE BLUE TRUCKER CAP · TAIL NO. SEA–206

FLIGHT
GROUNDED
ALLEGED OFFENSE
Unauthorized aerospace touchdown
DEMAND
Ground all remaining units
DISPOSITION
Removed from active roster
CASE FILEHT–LEGAL–002COMPLIED, RELUCTANTLY
Black-and-white camouflage collegiate parody hat with its embroidery redactedEXHIBIT A
ITEMTHE WATERFOWL INCIDENTCAMOUFLAGE FAILED TO CONCEAL EVIDENCE
MIGRATORY MARKS & SCHOOL COLORS DIVISION10.01.25

TO: HAT TRICK NYC
RE: UNLICENSED WATERFOWL & PROTECTED COLORS

NOTICE OF UNAUTHORIZED
WATERFOWL ACTIVITY

Our office has been advised that a camouflage cap was observed carrying a protected collegiate duck accompanied by restricted green-and-yellow plumage.

Camouflage does not constitute authorization and, in this instance, failed to conceal the evidence. The institution asserts rights in the bird, the word, the colors and, apparently, the general idea of looking like Oregon.

SUBJECT IN CUSTODY:
UNLICENSED WATERFOWL

DUCK SEASON
CLOSED
ALLEGED OFFENSE
Possession of protected plumage
DEMAND
Remove bird, colors, and evidence
DISPOSITION
Migrated off the active roster
CASE FILEHT–LEGAL–003STRONGLY WORDED
Black-and-white New York basketball parody hat with three redaction lines across its embroideryEXHIBIT A
ITEMTHE COURTSIDE INCIDENTONE HAT · EIGHT PAGES · ZERO CHILL
COURTSIDE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY UNIT06.19.26

VIA EMAIL & FEDEX
RE: DOING THE WRONG THING

FORMAL NOTICE OF
DOING THE WRONG THING

Our office represents a prolific filmmaker, longtime courtside resident and owner of a vast portfolio spanning film, television, music, merchandise and highly recognizable typography.

The evidence includes one cap, one reworked poster, one website search result, pages from a book and multiple alleged intentional references. Eight pages later, the position remains: stop immediately.

RESPONSE REQUESTED:
BY TOMORROW, APPARENTLY.

COURTSIDE
EJECTION
ALLEGED OFFENSE
Doing the wrong thing
DEMAND
Stop, account, destroy
DISPOSITION
Bench cleared
DAYS SINCE LAST LEGAL CORRESPONDENCE000

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