Fall 2026 Edition Vol. XXVI Free to residents · Not for resale

Five Borough Business Directory

Manhattan · Brooklyn · Queens · The Bronx · Staten Island and, for some reason, East Rutherford, N.J.

New listings this edition

Attorneys · Personal Injury

Knick & Bocker Injury Attorneys $39.99
Parade injuries · Confetti incidents · Bail bonds(347) 620-4095
Security Guards & Patrol

Ranger Security Corp. $39.99
Checks · Disputes settled on the spot · Dental not included(212) 555-0126
Airlines

Empire Jet Lines $39.99
Direct service to optimism · Delays expected(718) 555-0184
Contractors · General

Giant Tower Systems $39.99
Building New York since 1925 · From New Jersey(201) 555-0125

Listings are paid advertisements. The publisher is not responsible for injuries, delays, penalties, cancelled flights, or New Jersey. One hat per listing. All businesses are fictional. The pain is real.

How pre-orders work Browse the full directory

Knick & Bocker Est. Injury Attorneys 1973

Hurt? Celebrating too hard?

You may be entitled to compensation.*

Did you:

Fall off a bus?
Get hit by a flying bottle of Brut?
Pull something hugging a stranger on the subway?
Beat up a Spurs fan?

Already arrested? Ask about our bail bonds.

Man in the Knick & Bocker hat holding a police mugshot board — Exhibit A

Call now (347) 620-4095

Operators are standing by

But wait… There’s more!

Order now and get a FREE Knick & Bocker mug

With the first 100 pre-orders.

All mugs claimed

*While supplies last. One mug per order. Mug not admissible in court.

This offer ends in

--Days

--Hrs

--Min

--Sec

Cases pending Caseload full

Your cost$39.99

File your claim

Closes October 10 · 11:59 PM ET · Ships by October 31 · Preorder. Items ordered together may ship when the pre-order is ready.

Attorney advertising · Results not typical · Knick & Bocker is not responsible for injuries sustained during the repeat · Not a real law firm · Conveniently located above a laundromat on 86th Street, Bensonhurst · Walk-ins welcome · Bail bonds available at the Bensonhurst office · No win, no fee (there has been a win, there will be a fee) ·

Ranger Security Corp.

Now hiring: night shift.

Must be able to stand in front of things and refuse to move. Missing teeth a plus. Winters especially.

Time remaining in period

--Days

--Hrs

--Min

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Shifts filled Fully staffed

Uniform allowance$39.99

Report for duty

Closes October 10 · 11:59 PM ET · Ships by October 31 · Preorder. Items ordered together may ship when the pre-order is ready.

Departures

New York --:--

Time	Flight	Destination	Gate	Status
08:15	EJ 001	Optimism	A1	Departed
09:40	EJ 002	Cautious optimism	A4	Delayed
11:05	EJ 003	Premature optimism	A7	Delayed, then Cancelled
13:30	EJ 008	Week 8	B2	Cancelled
16:45	EJ 017	The playoffs	B9	See agent
23:59	EJ 069	Super Bowl	C3	See 1969
NOW	EJ 031	Your head	HT	Boarding

A higher standard for what’s ahead.Boarding pass

Passenger: You
Flight: EJ 031
From: The Meadowlands
To: Your head
Seat: No assigned seating
Bags: Expectations, carry-on only

Seats sold Flight full

FlightEJ 031

Fare$39.99

Board now

Non-refundable · Non-transferable · Non-negotiable
People · Places · Possibilities · Est. 1978

Gate HT

EJ 031 · Your head Gate closes in

--Days

--Hrs

--Min

--Sec

Closes October 10 · 11:59 PM ET · Ships by October 31 · Preorder. Items ordered together may ship when the pre-order is ready.

Thank you for choosing Empire. We know you had no other choice.

The Giant.

There is only one New York address that matters. It’s in New Jersey.

Proudly constructed by Giant Tower Systems

Architect’s rendering. The hat is real.

At a certain point in life, a person simply knows where they belong. For a select few, that place is The Giant.

Rising fifty-two stories over the Meadowlands, The Giant offers what no Manhattan address can: an unobstructed view of Manhattan. Every residence is framed in big blue steel and built to our defense-first standard of construction. We do not build flashy. We build tough. We build in January, when the wind comes sideways off the Hudson and lesser developers go home.

Uninterrupted views of Manhattan, from a respectful distance
A doorman, a concierge and a toll booth
Parking for 82,500
Perpetually in a rebuilding phase

By appointment only.

Residences from$39.99

The offering closes in

--Days

--Hours

--Minutes

--Seconds

Residences reserved Sold out

Reserve your residence

Hat Trick

Pre-order desk

Five Borough Business Directory

Window: Closed
Closes: Oct 10 · 11:59 PM ET
Time left: —
Ships by: October 31

How it works

How limited runs work.

Reserve your hat.
Payment is taken when you place your pre-order, and that locks in your hat from this run.
The window closes.
This run closes October 10 at 11:59 PM ET.
Production finishes.
We make the run, then inspect and pack every order.
Tracking goes live.
Expected to ship on or before October 31. Earlier is possible.

Pre-order FAQ

Before you check out.

When will my order ship?

October 31 is the latest expected ship date, and some orders may ship sooner. Tracking is emailed to you as soon as your package ships.

Why pre-order?

Pre-orders let us make intentional, limited batches instead of manufacturing piles of hats nobody wants.

What if my order has another hat in it?

Unless we arrange it separately, items ordered together may ship when the pre-order hat is ready.

How do I know my pre-order went through?

You get an order confirmation email straight away, with the hat listed as a pre-order and its ships-by date.

Can the dates change?

Production timelines can occasionally move. If the expected date changes materially, we email the address on your order.

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Five Borough Business Directory

Hurt? Celebrating too hard?

Now hiring: night shift.

Departures

The Giant.

Pre-order desk

How limited runs work.

Before you check out.

Country/region